I spent this sunset at one of these:
... and I started thinking... that every time I spend a sunset or an evening at a Wendy's, the mood tends to set in gloomy and weird. At first I thought that it had something to do with the excess of windows and how it looks so dark outside, but then I remembered that other fast food places, like McDonals, have a deluge of windows, and I've never felt like that in one of those.
So I noticed ... the color scheme. All Wendy's restaurants have a color scheme in which blue-green is predominant, with other gradients of blue, and highlights in wine-red and pink (these highlights do very little to chipper up the place). Colors like blue and green are calm and, if the color scheme and lighting in which they are included are not taken good care of, they could very well end up being downright depressing. These color schemes are not your typical fast food colors. It has been proven that bright colors, like white, pink, orange, red and yellow arouse hunger and increase activity. These are popular amongst fast food places because people are not only compelled to eat more, but they also feel the need to move on. What's up with Wendy's? I don't know.
However, I did not need the depressing sunset on me today either. It has been a gloomy day, mostly my fault. I just wish I were a bit less emotional, a bit more pragmatic ... i just wish I didn't get so easily worked up and teary eyed over things as ephemeral as one day less, one hour less, a notch down the belt... things that shouldn't be at all of significance in the bigger scheme. I still feel, however, the need to cry more, and it worries me, cuz I have no reason at all to feel sad, not really. But things come to my head, excuses and reasons for the tears, fantasies of doom and gloom. Today has been an exercise of self control. Of wanting to cry more, just a bit more, and not being able to, so as to prevent more questions from falling on my head. Today has been a day of finally noticing that I am not always on the right. As a matter of fact, I'm mostly on the wrong and childish attitudes, irrational thinking, control my reactions. Today I noticed how easy it could be to ruin the most precious things in your life, the things you should be forever grateful for, with one tear too many. Today I feel it would be wrong to keep crying, but then I can't help it.
Today I feel like going into hibernation, hide from the monster in myself, and not come back until it sleeps again.
