... y como el "arte de soñar" me tiene ya cacorra!
Why do I keep dreaming things? My mind keeps pulling out cards out of my subconscious, bringing forward whatever it is I think has been forgotten. One day it is that deeply ingrained fear of beaing left alone, next... like last night... I can't even say what it could have meant. Besides, it stirs up nothing in my being besides this one phrase: "What the fuck!?"
I dreamt of my ex.... and I dreamt of his wife. And more about her than him... perhaps the predominant mood in all of this is the same mood that overcame me the day I really saw her up close, just a few weeks before I finished working there. It was annoyance at him for having abandoned and double played a woman as beautiful as she. It is a point of view so stupid, because... why didn't I think of that before? I already knew she existed, I already knew thay had kids together, I already knew they had once loved each other. Her being beautiful doesn't change a thing in life... why should it change my point of view?
Perhaps it's the fact that having her that close, that day, made her much more real to me. And that is what hit me like a truck and made me much more happy of having ended the relationship with him.
However, I have to get all this shit out of my system. NOW!
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